The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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