At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
