so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize