remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i think i just lost a toe
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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