my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
