just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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