Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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