I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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