I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
