He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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