I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need moral support for this bender
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
