i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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