wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
