@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
