new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
