yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
