Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
