nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
