I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
