On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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