dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
