were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
