Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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