i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
