Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize