Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
