forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
