Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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