do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think my moral compass just broke
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
