So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
