Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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