and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
