Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
