Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
