It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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