my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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