You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
