Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
