how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize
