butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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