New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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