Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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