Well douche your snatch and let's go!
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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