Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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