I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
