I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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