I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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