it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
