we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
