He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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