Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My hand turned me down
no, he came in my armpit
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i believe in u and ur pee
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
