I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize