Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
