He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
