The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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