its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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