Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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