my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
