ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
