when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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