I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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