roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
