I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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