I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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