He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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