i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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