what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
