my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Randomize
