More tranny stories later!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
