if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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