I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Still dying that you shit outside
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
