if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
