hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
