Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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