Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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