did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
